J: I have just delivered my job application. Tally ho!

me: Like the Americans say - Woot!

J: 'Woot'? I've never heard of that one. 'Woot'? Americans say 'woot'? I know 'oo-rah!' though.

me: Oh yeah. Haven't you seen scooterdeb use it?

J: I have not. I am familiar with its use by the US Marines. "Oo-rah!" they shout, (or 'holler' as one might say in the United States), "Semper fi!" ('always loyal')

I'm a tally-ho man, myself, I find it pleasingly camp.

me: I'm gonna stick with Woot! I dunno why. Everytime I use yippee it's like I'm quoting Asterix comics.

J: I'm glad 'true' from the Budweiser advertisements went quickly out of fashion. I used to find that irritating. But as you know, I have long been aware of the potential benefits of having a catchphrase. People love them, don't they. I mean, look at modern comedy shows. What makes a modern comedy show successful? Catchphrases. When I was a student, blokes in pubs could be heard shouting, "What's on the end of your stick, Vic?" at each other before collapsing in hysterical laughter. A few years ago it was, "Suits you, sir." Now it's all this only gay in the village business. Everybody is crazy about Little Britain. I think it's rubbish. There are about four or five ideas in Little Britain, and they're being milked to death. But people can't get enough of it. Catchphrases are what we need.

me: You're right about Little Britain. The only character I think is funny is the Vicky Pollard one. Sister #5 talks exactly like her. I need to get some clips of Vicky Pollard together and play them back to my sister. Maybe it'll stun her into silence or something.

I think the 'true' adverts didn't have as much impact as the 'wazzzaaaaaaaaap' ones. Thank god they've gone.

J: I tell you what else isn't funny: Bex. How did Jessica Stevenson manage to go from Spaced (v. amusing) to Bex (a lonely piece of tumbleweed rolls across the silent, laughterless living room)?

me: I read about this show where three celebs (yeah right) have to look after one of those pretend babies for a week. A doll that eats, sleeps, poops, pees and pukes. You had tamara beckwith, some other geezer and get this. Colin and Justin.

J: I saw it! I can't usually watch stuff relating to babies, but I saw that one because I'm a big Colin and Justin fan. It was weird, Justin grew so attached to this plastic baby that at one point he started crying because he wanted to have kids. But it was all cool in the end because eventually they decided that a baby would interfere too much with their social life. Woot!

C & J have this makeover show on at the moment, it's on tonight in fact. It's just them having tantrums, it's wicked. Last week they did a makeover of Samantha Fox's house. Yes, Samantha Fox's house. Listen, if Justin asks you to order a sand-coloured sofa, don't accidentally order one in chocolate. Oh, no.

me: You said Woot!