J: Um, I just got this message:

An Email with the subject of RE: was sent to you by bushra@work if this is not a SPAM Email and you wish the Email to be delivered;-

Use the 'Reply With History' option to include this message in your reply. Send only ONE request, all e-mails are released in order of arrival as there are several hundred a day. Multiple requests will not result in early release.

I hope you're not trying to flog me that cheap stash of Viagra again.

me: Maybe it's because I send too many emails. But then you can't seem to shut the f*ck up either.

me: you know i'm kidding, right? right?

J: I keep getting this Network Security message about possible spam coming from you. It's weird, it won't let me read the email. Usually it comes through all right just with a warning. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

me: did you get this email? are you having a laugh? could it be they've finally caught up with me?

J: This email has been received. Vot is happening? Ziss does not make sense.

me: there's like, smoke coming out of my keyboard. i have like all these work emails to send. K had that happen before, only network services CALLED HER ABOUT IT.

J: No way. There's smoke coming out of your computer? Nah, no way.

me: you know that bit where i said you can't seem to shut the f*ck up...