by dose is bell and truly blocked.
losing your sense of smell really kills it, doesn't it.
losing your sense of smell really kills it, doesn't it.
Grace Dent's TV OD: "Hee! Hee! You should put all your little mantras into a book!" squeaks Davina. Erm, Davina, Jermaine doesn't need to. It's called the Koran, it's available in bookshops already.
i like that. other news, i made a quick dash down to birmingham on friday evening, but i'm hating the train journeys down there more and more, however the age old village tradition of families-in-law delivering daughters safely to their parents doesn't apply to this (apparently) educated girl (i'm not mad, who me?) so there you go. i really wanted to see the dad before he disappeared off to pakistan on thursday, innit? but i picked up a bitchin' cold and tummy bug so i'm full of cold, a sharp sore throat and throwing up all over the place to boot. nice. i went to the chemist up oak lane to stock up on tissues and the like with sister #2, and as i made my way back along the killing ground, passed my place and decided to show my face at sister #1's. and so i had my latest verbal ambush from a bathroom window:
him: ere, bushra, your house is over there!
me: who are you?
him: ...
me: where am i?
and then his dad spotted him and yelled at him to behave.
i like that. other news, i made a quick dash down to birmingham on friday evening, but i'm hating the train journeys down there more and more, however the age old village tradition of families-in-law delivering daughters safely to their parents doesn't apply to this (apparently) educated girl (i'm not mad, who me?) so there you go. i really wanted to see the dad before he disappeared off to pakistan on thursday, innit? but i picked up a bitchin' cold and tummy bug so i'm full of cold, a sharp sore throat and throwing up all over the place to boot. nice. i went to the chemist up oak lane to stock up on tissues and the like with sister #2, and as i made my way back along the killing ground, passed my place and decided to show my face at sister #1's. and so i had my latest verbal ambush from a bathroom window:
him: ere, bushra, your house is over there!
me: who are you?
him: ...
me: where am i?
and then his dad spotted him and yelled at him to behave.
remember the funny little posts when i lived in birmingham? seems like i have to phone fudgeit towers back home more often. the dad is off to pakistan next week, and i called to see whether he was visting bradford this weekend, or whether i should visit him. anyway. catching up with brother #4:
him: you know what you need to do about your shop? you need to advertise!
me: all right all right!
him: oh look, here comes niece #4. hey, did you just take something out of your mummy's pocket?
her: no.
him: bushra's on the phone, say hello.
her: hello.
me: hello!
him: she won't take the phone off me because she's got both her hands behind her back. here, hold the phone!
her: uh-uh.
him: you've got a pen, haven't you?
her: no.
him: honest, she looks so cute right now, apart from that huge bogey...hey don't wipe your nose on your mummy's coat!
her: it's not mummy's, it's niece #1's!
him: oh, well that's all right then!
him: you know what you need to do about your shop? you need to advertise!
me: all right all right!
him: oh look, here comes niece #4. hey, did you just take something out of your mummy's pocket?
her: no.
him: bushra's on the phone, say hello.
her: hello.
me: hello!
him: she won't take the phone off me because she's got both her hands behind her back. here, hold the phone!
her: uh-uh.
him: you've got a pen, haven't you?
her: no.
him: honest, she looks so cute right now, apart from that huge bogey...hey don't wipe your nose on your mummy's coat!
her: it's not mummy's, it's niece #1's!
him: oh, well that's all right then!
ok. friends, impartial observers, even all those google drive-bys. your thoughts please. recently a desk has been installed opposite mine, to represent the office management services, imaginatively entitled 'Office Services'. the place to visit when you need a projector for your meeting, train tickets for that all important meeting in london, a brand new biro, you name it. handy, some might say. but what happens when the office person at that desk is for some reason away from their desk? cue endless requests to little old me for projectors, train tickets or 'is this the desk for office services? do you know when he/she will be back?' and so on. it's just that little bit annoying when you're doing the most mind boggling and complicated work (the authority can vouch for that), so i stuck a sign on my desk, as thought up by office person A and D2:
I am not part of Office Services.
(Don't make me angry, you won't like it.)
Bushra.
two people have requested a copy for their desk. other neighbouring office people stop by, have a laugh and start asking about train tickets, the air conditioning, the shortage of tea bags, the suspicious smell surrounding the fridge in the kitchen (sorry, that's not the kitchen, it's the tea area, or whatever. i dunno) and on and on. and here's the latest exchange in the tea area, with office person A from a neighbouring team:
him: you look rough.
me: so would you if people were having a laugh at that sign, and asking me about projectors and train tickets.
him: no way.
me: seriously, it's gone from genuine requests to everyone having a go!
another office person was preparing a coffee at the time and his eyebrows were raised when A mentioned i looked rough. when he left he told A 'you're smooth, aren't you?' not that A got it. but anyway. ideas on a postcard.
I am not part of Office Services.
(Don't make me angry, you won't like it.)
Bushra.
two people have requested a copy for their desk. other neighbouring office people stop by, have a laugh and start asking about train tickets, the air conditioning, the shortage of tea bags, the suspicious smell surrounding the fridge in the kitchen (sorry, that's not the kitchen, it's the tea area, or whatever. i dunno) and on and on. and here's the latest exchange in the tea area, with office person A from a neighbouring team:
him: you look rough.
me: so would you if people were having a laugh at that sign, and asking me about projectors and train tickets.
him: no way.
me: seriously, it's gone from genuine requests to everyone having a go!
another office person was preparing a coffee at the time and his eyebrows were raised when A mentioned i looked rough. when he left he told A 'you're smooth, aren't you?' not that A got it. but anyway. ideas on a postcard.
just a little giddy...
i made my first sale on etsy! i haven't put much effort into the shop once i stuck the listings online. sister #4 has told me off for not doing any marketing (business students, okay business and engineering students, these days). but i still made a sale. even better, i have managed to convert a cynic, for my first customer is only brother #1!
i made my first sale on etsy! i haven't put much effort into the shop once i stuck the listings online. sister #4 has told me off for not doing any marketing (business students, okay business and engineering students, these days). but i still made a sale. even better, i have managed to convert a cynic, for my first customer is only brother #1!
"This is a great shame because it is such a good drug".
on a different note i'm just loving the new blogger. not.
on a different note i'm just loving the new blogger. not.
my, what tough times we live in. the beckhams have been hounded out of the UK (escorted, more like) and now there's all that bullying on big brother. this calls for some words from J, old words, mind, i found them sitting in my email:
'What I want for my birthday is for all the people in the world to come together
and love each other and to drop all the hatred and territoriality and hostility
and to destroy all the weapons and to find solutions to our problems and to
unite and make the world a beautiful place free of hatred and prejudice and
bitterness and resentment and to end starvation and disease and war and to love
our fellow brothers and sisters and so on and so forth.'
K and i haven't heard from J in ages. so i'm assuming he's found his island.
'What I want for my birthday is for all the people in the world to come together
and love each other and to drop all the hatred and territoriality and hostility
and to destroy all the weapons and to find solutions to our problems and to
unite and make the world a beautiful place free of hatred and prejudice and
bitterness and resentment and to end starvation and disease and war and to love
our fellow brothers and sisters and so on and so forth.'
K and i haven't heard from J in ages. so i'm assuming he's found his island.
for the first time in a long time, i'm drinking coffee at work. not office supply stuff either, some nice coffee supplied by incandescens.
me: seriously, this coffee has done something to me.
C: ...
me: honest. it's like i've woken up or something.
C: (quietly laughs to herself)
me: wha?
me: seriously, this coffee has done something to me.
C: ...
me: honest. it's like i've woken up or something.
C: (quietly laughs to herself)
me: wha?
Arrest him, maybe, but confiscating his mints...
What every Brit should know about jaywalking:'The officer asked for identification. The professor asked for his, after which Officer Leonpacher told him he was under arrest and, the professor claims, kicked his legs from under him, pinned him to the ground and confiscated his box of peppermints.'
What every Brit should know about jaywalking:'The officer asked for identification. The professor asked for his, after which Officer Leonpacher told him he was under arrest and, the professor claims, kicked his legs from under him, pinned him to the ground and confiscated his box of peppermints.'
thursday is...
...handing a post-it note to the authority, forgetting you've scrawled the word 'argh' in the corner.
...handing a post-it note to the authority, forgetting you've scrawled the word 'argh' in the corner.
the twins and sister in law A are trying to get me to watch celebrity big brother but i just can't be bothered (twin A: that donny guy has gone, bushra, so it's all right now). i'll admit i didn't like the look of him. still. if i hadn't stayed i wouldn't have witnessed sister in law A's reaction to jermaine jackson folding up his prayer mat:
'oh my god, jermaine dupri is reading namaaz in the big brother house!'
'oh my god, jermaine dupri is reading namaaz in the big brother house!'
just so you know, blogs can come in very handy. like when you know niece #4's birthday falls in january at some point (yes, brother #4, i know all about your birthday) but you can't remember when. a quick look around your blog et voila! i bought niece #4 a crocodile finger puppet for christmas but she was terrified of it, so i guess it's something from fifi and the flowertots.
other news, i'm starting to find the granny's interrogations just that little bit exhausting. teeny tiny questions about everything. i know this is something the old folk do round here, example:
her: did you go to work today?
me: yes.
her: you should have taken something to eat. did you take anything with you?
me: no, i didn't, i picked something up from the shops.
her: you bought something?
me: yes.
her: what, like a sandwich?
me: yes.
her: and a drink?
and on and on. yesterday a rug i had ordered arrived while i was at work.
her: something came for you today.
me: i know.
her: was it a rug?
me: no.
don't ask me why i did that, i just did!
other news, i'm starting to find the granny's interrogations just that little bit exhausting. teeny tiny questions about everything. i know this is something the old folk do round here, example:
her: did you go to work today?
me: yes.
her: you should have taken something to eat. did you take anything with you?
me: no, i didn't, i picked something up from the shops.
her: you bought something?
me: yes.
her: what, like a sandwich?
me: yes.
her: and a drink?
and on and on. yesterday a rug i had ordered arrived while i was at work.
her: something came for you today.
me: i know.
her: was it a rug?
me: no.
don't ask me why i did that, i just did!
the authority has a new blog. enter at your own risk.