fudge it

sister in law A: look at that, it's Eid and you're going to be here for it!

i think i've done all right so far. but right now i can hear a bunch of elders debating downstairs and kids screaming and jumping upstairs. and me in my room, i'd double lock the doors if i could. even worse:

sister in law A: i think they're going to do Eid today and tomorrow. how good is that?

of course, it's not as bad as you think. once you have negotiated uncles patting your head and ruining any hopes of technically perfect hair, and you've done your time sitting in the room while they chain smoke, actually it is kind of mad, innit.

bushra | permalink | |

cute lil flash games at orisinal. i like winterbells.

bushra | permalink | |

i got my shiny new laptop yesterday, and spent the evening trying to set up wireless internet in the attic. what a headache. brother in law A and the mister were sitting there getting into dracula, sister in law A arrived bearing ice cream and the twins were considering evil plans to procure the huge multipack of walkers crisps she'd brought up with her. and when brother in law B arrived i started explaining how i managed to get the wireless set up only to lose it all when setting up the security. he decided to call his mate:

brother in law B: is it browser based configuration?
me: yeah.
brother in law B mutters into his phone.
sister in law A: god, i wish i knew what you lot were talking about.
brother in law B: he says you just need to create a key, and not do anything with security settings.
me: oh, you do that. ok.

later.

twin A: when is New Years Day?

bushra | permalink | |

well. i managed to drop in to fudgeit towers for a few hours on christmas eve. the family-in-law were attending a wedding (i know) but i opted out and survived a very cramped road trip to spend the day with a poorly niece #4 in my lap. i managed to catch the last half hour of star wars: return of the jedi:

me: hey. i just watched a bit of star wars earlier.
brother #4: uh-huh.
me: i didn't realise darth vader saves luke in the end.
him: hmmm.
me: i always thought luke kills him or something, not darth vader killing off the emperor to save him.
him: you didn't know that?
me: no!
him: don't ever speak to me again.

bushra | permalink | |

tis the season

our desk pod consists of eight desks. we as a team occupy seven of them, and the eighth is occupied by a random member of the office people who control everything team. it's temps mainly so the faces change every couple of weeks, and the recent offering is quite an interesting guy, who studied psychotherapy or something. anyway, he was on the phone this morning:

him: so i said to her this is my last day, and she was like, you're leaving? and i said no this is my last day and then i'm on holiday, i'm gonna spend time with my family and she was like, oh you muslims taking advantage of our festivals to take time off and i was like er, excuse me you can talk about taking advantage, think about how you exploit other people's cultures the next time you sit down for a curry, won't you? she was just pissed off because she wanted someone in the office and i was like, forget it!

leeds is pretty quiet today. well the station is. the office obviously isn't.

bushra | permalink | |

so. sister #2 and the kids should have left for birmingham by the time i get home today. anyway. managed to get their homework sorted. nephew #2 didn't get any, but he did give me his calendar. you know, those calendars all the kids make at the end of the year? nephew #2 has his picture on his, with his photo smile (hint: it's not a smile) surrounded by glitter and stuff.

nephew #1 had obviously been given the easiest homework ever. so easy i can't remember any of it.

then i explained fractions to niece #2. we gave up in the end, well i gave up, and told her most of the answers, my bad. in the meantime nephew #3 decided to attack my bag with a blue wax crayon. wouldn't have minded normally, except the bag in question is this light pink DKNY holdall and had earned me some credibility among the killing ground fashion police. yikes.

bushra | permalink | |

eeh, i don't feel too good today. i feel crapper than crap. even worse, i promised sister #2 i'd help her kids ace their homework tonight before they go down to birmingham for christmas tomorrow. i'm guessing their teachers will do what they did last time and stick a bunch of random worksheets together and hope for the best. why, why do i accept to do these things?

small positive to mention in defence of nephew #2 - he calls me garlic bread these days - he's doing more by himself as he wants to be more independent. either that or my reaction after spending 10 minutes explaining the difference between a rectangle and a square only for him to incorrectly identify both really was that traumatic.

bushra | permalink | |

this is a post via the new blogger beta. hmm, doesn't feel any different.

bushra | permalink | |

thank you, office person A, for the idiot test.

just so you know, i passed the border-line idiot test before i fell.

bushra | permalink | |

best. comment. ever.

Oh, stop it, you touchy-feely freak!

bushra | permalink | |

"I like wearing it with my Speedo suit"

i just found the most amazing bargain on amazon, and it seems to have good reviews too.

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an advert for the nintendo wii appeared on the tv the other day.

me: that looks good.
twin A: it's crap.
me: how can you say that?
twin A: it's crap.
me: how do you know? is it because it doesn't have a controller for your foot so you can kick the crap out of people of vice city or whatever?
twin A: it's crap.
me: why does she keep saying that?
sister in law A: i know what it is.
twin A: what?
sister in law A: repeat after me, repeat after me, repeat after me.
me: ha?
sister in law A: everything brother in law 1 says, she repeats it.
twin A: shurrup!
me: ha! you haven't actually tried it out so you can't exactly write it off as crap, can you?
twin A: oh. no.

other than roll my eyes, what else can i do?

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on the way into work the queue at bagel nash gets really long on cold days, so i headed into the office and decided to go in a bit later.

D1: er, would it be wrong if i asked you to pick up a bacon bagel for me?
me: ah, you can come get that yourself!

on the way there:

D1: um, in my ignorance, can i ask you a question?
me: (thinking: oh, god, he's going to ask about the bacon. how do i answer this without sounding petty? it's not that it's offensive, i just don't like handling it, innit.) okay. sure.
D1: i had thought about consulting with the authority but seeing as you're here...
me: sure. fire away.
D1: would you be offended if i gave you a christmas card?
me: ...

bushra | permalink | |

Left-handers 'think' more quickly:

me: hmm. would you say i'm an 'extreme' left-handed individual?
the authority: eh?
me: 'Extreme left-handed individuals were 43milliseconds faster at spotting matching letters across the right and left visual fields than right-handed people.' ah, actually i think that's true in my case.
the authority: but you use the mouse with your right hand.
me: but i write with my left.

note: "It's certainly very interesting. It's always been said that left-handers are different from right-handers in that the are less consistent with their left-handedness. "

very true. anyway. back to work.

bushra | permalink | |

the shop. is open.

i'm going to negotiate with brother #1 to arrange supply of his horoscopes at a negotiated rate:

"Getting along with others now may be more challenging than usual(check your bluetooth settings), but your extra effort can pay off in totally unexpected ways (you'll pick up a phone virus). Be careful that you don't overstep your bounds, even if someone eggs you on (otherwise you'll crash especially if you're a PocketPC). Don't get involved in a petty ego skirmish just because it looks like fun (let see who's got the best phone charms)Make sure you perform when it matters otherwise you could end up regretting the whole thing(your owner will upgrade you)."

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