fudge it

BBC News Online: Forensic drama CSI: Miami has been named the world's most popular TV show

well. when i were on jury service one of the guys there said he'd noticed that 'only girls watch CSI'. i agreed at the time. and then brother #4 got into it. he's more CSI miami though. i spent a couple of days back at HQ last week with the world of sky tv in my hands and was flicking channels when brother #4 arrived home. funnily enough, the last ten minutes of a CSI miami episode was on:

him: argh! quick! switch the channel! i don't want to see the ending, they're going to play it again on the next channel down so i can watch the full episode.
me: er, you think? not while i have the remote, mister. and besides, he's doing his pantomime hushed voice so you can't be missing much.
him: (impersonates david caruso's character, horatio) a-ha. that is correct.
me: no wait. you need to stand with your hands on your hips and have the wind blowing in your hair. oh, wait, you've cut it all off again.
him: (continues) interesting. i incorrectly identified garfield's favourite food as spaghetti bolognese, but it is in fact lasagne.
me: who cares, what kind of name is horatio? (flicking channels) is that that crash? er, no, it's that crash.
him: ha! face it, there is no good tv on right now.
me: (in horatio voice) in which case, i am handing you the remote.
him: grrrreat!
me: a-ha. or am i?
him: bitch.

bushra | permalink | |

one of those 'ummm, where to look' posts.

your blog never stays the same does it? i mean the way it was at the start. i used to swear a lot. oh and would give soooo much information away about the family because it was like, anonymous. and i used to document almost everything! but now half the siblings know about the blog, but that isn't so bad.

anyway. the two main reasons why there aren't many crazy family posts these days is because i've moved away, and despite each and every little happy event that occurs, there's a dark cloud that is always looming. and you can get happy and laugh all you like, but you still remember the bad shit (sorry, but it is) going on in the background. i tell myself not to worry about it but will i ever? and i get even more frustrated that i can't be there not to sort things out but just be there.

but on the other hand, for some odd reason i like having a blog. even if i don't post much i like playing with the appearance and stuff, and can have days when i post little things here and there:

niece #3: what did the giraffe say to the gorilla?
me: i don't know...
niece #3: you're a skanking big fat liar! a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

bushra | permalink | |

so hot...

...i haven't the strength to get up and round up the nieces and nephew #1 from the front side of the house, where they're shouting 'BOGEYS!' at random passers by.

bushra | permalink | |

bye bye

i interrupt my week off, just to tell you brian's blog is no more.

and back to snooze again.

bushra | permalink | |

bleh bleh bleh.

my throat feels bad. but i got a week off next week and i'm like totally out of town. so in the meantime you can just stare at my pretty blog and imagine i'm writing about how much i hate those 'singer-songwriter' cd adverts on tv.

bushra | permalink | |

i'm sorry, what?

started getting hits from a bizarre looking link today:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=373058&page=23

it's this discussion on a bargain cruise website mentioning PETA, mudwrestling, ruby slippers and before the conversation slides down a very slippery slope, someone decided to link to my blog. she just couldn't help herself. bless.

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bang bang bang bang BANG!

(this is the soundtrack to my headache, which took place yesterday evening, and is still lurking like a sleeping dragon today.)

the ruling aunt's son who is like absolutely tiny doing these mighty jumps in the room above mine. i'm telling you, at one point the whole house shook.

that stupid stupid phone ringing endlessly, because certain callers are aware nobody likes answering the phone in case they are roped into boring errands and they will keep on ringing until you answer, dammit.

having said that, i had a hazy couple of minutes after the granny answered the phone after three rings, and told the mother how everyone was out and that her daughter was lying in bed with a bad headache. must call her later.

people slamming the bloody doors. for what seemed like ages.

but none of it compared to the endless ticking of the f*cking clock which i found on my wall when i moved in. i did disable it a few weeks after i arrived but the wall looked a bit bare. if i had a hammer...

bushra | permalink | |

so you know when you're chatting away to various kids on the killing ground (it's like one big extended family, y'all) and ask about their day at school, expecting to hear about the latest fall outs and how nephew #1's cap keeps getting nicked, only they tell you about how a body was discovered in the bushes behind their school? that.

how is one box of rubbish in a street in bradford different to the rest of the boxes of rubbish in the streets of bradford? still, everyone must love it when the robot from Short Circuit makes an appearance, eh?

bushra | permalink | |

J: Leeds and Bradford are in the papers all the time lately, aren’t they. Hotbeds of sinister activity, fear and paranoia, plots and schemes, extremist beliefs. And that’s only Sir Jimmy Savile.

watching the weather with sister in law A and the mother in law a few days ago.

mother in law: is it going to rain?
me: yeah.
sister in law A: where's bradford?
me: ha?
her: look at the map. they didn't include bradford.
me: maybe it's because bradford is like a blight on the yorkshire landscape or something.
her: eh, you what?
me: you know. like a blot. or a dark spot.
her: bushra, i'll bet it's not even that.

bushra | permalink | |

t'other day.

sister #5: hey. i seen your blog. it looks really good.
me: really? well thank you.
sister #5: it's getting a bit boring though.
me: that's because i don't live here anymore.
sister #4: you want something to write? you should write about what brother #4 got away with last week.
sister #5: oh my god, yes! instead of staying out until like 1 or 2, he arrives at 8 in the morning!
sister #4: yeah! and as he's coming through the front door, the mother goes 'where are you going?'
sister #5: and he says 'er, i'm just going to the supermarket to get some breakfast'.
sister #4: and she believed him!
me: no way!
brother #4: yes way. so i went to the supermarket, got something to eat, came home and slept for most of the day.
sister #5: unbelievable. actually forget that one. you could write about my dream. me and brother #1 are in the back of this car that's going like, really really fast. and when i look in the driver's seat it's niece #4! and i'm telling her to stop but she just laughs and drove to blockbuster video.

bushra | permalink | |

this football match is a bit interesting, innit?

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the twins and sister in law A have well and truly discovered the internet lately. their friends have sites on piczo or something. and let's not forget hotmail. and msn messenger. sister in law A and twin A can often be found fighting over the computer.

twin B: what does o-m-g mean?
me: 'oh my god'.
twin B: oh right. why are you taking so long for? i want to have a go now!
sister in law A: shurrup. oh my god, look at them all, all my friends are having conversations with each other and leaving me out!
twin B: what does l-m-a-o mean?
me: 'laughing my arse off'.
twin B: how come you know all of these?
me: what? you think the internet didn't exist until you came along?
sister in law A: yeah! bushra is the queen of the internet, you know.

bushra | permalink | |

apparently...

brian:...we're *not* antisocial; we're avoidant. So now you know, innit?
me: what? who says?
brian: scooterdeb. Apparently antisocial is when you're out vandalising phoneboxes and writing graffiti on the wall of Littlewoods and what have you - the sort of thing you don't do....or do you?
me: Well. I did graffiti one of those bubble gum machines stuck to a wall of a newsagent once.
brian: Okay, forget I said anything; you *are* antisocial, so you are.
me: So I'm anti-social, what's your excuse?
brian: I'm a bad gairl, so I am.
me: The end.

bushra | permalink | |

summer breeze/summer wind/summer ball.

a department colleague has organised a summer ball, right in the middle of a week in august. black tie and all that. i've got too much on my plate right now, so my initial reaction wasn't positive. i decided to see what the feeling was in the rest of the team, well all right i decided to look for someone else who wasn't going so i couldn't be singled out as a spoilsport. we have two more new team members, and one of them came and sat at the desk next to mine because his had been hotdesked.

me: so, are you up for this summer ball, then?
him: am i up for the summer ball? am i hell.
me: thank you!

so i hit the voting button called 'No'. and got cornered in the kitchen by the organiser.

him: i can't believe you!
me: i'm anti-social!
him: i can't believe you!
me: i'm anti-social!

bushra | permalink | |

where to begin.

me: 232 emails! 232!
brian: dammit!

that's right. i'm back at work, and er, raring to go. although my neck is still a bit weird, i get these sharp stabbing pains on the left side now and then. but don't worry, i'm going to see the doctor about 'em.

i was in birmingham last weekend for a wedding too. brother #4 and sisters #4 and #5 supplied me with some bits and pieces for the blog. yep, they're always checking it out now, sister #5 even said it looked good. whoa. and finally:

me: oh hey, can I blog your comments about Bradford online? or is it that you can only stone Bradford so much before it gets old?
J: You have carte blanche to blog away. I guess you must have received thousands of questions about my absence over the last few months, innit.
me: oh, so many.

i've got this line from a song stuck in my head, and it goes 'a little bag of cocaine, a little bag of cocaine...' go on. have a listen.

bushra | permalink | |