fudge it

honest. all you people worried about bird flu, you've got the wrong guy.

as far as i'm aware i haven't been in contact with any possible carriers for at least a week; all it took was a letter from the twins' school saying they would be shut for two days for specialist cleaning and before you know it i was down with the winter vomiting bug. niece #2 and nephew #1 were round yesterday doing their homework but after pulling my head out of a bucket i told them 'run! save yourselves!' and spent the rest of the day with my head in said bucket. not pretty, i can tell yer. a killer migraine at the same time wasn't much help either, as well as not being able to keep any painkillers down. then the nieces and the sisters and the mother in birmingham were all worried and at some point i got a picture message from niece #1 and sister-in-law A fixed me a cup of tea - it didn't stay down - and chocolate fingers (chocolate fingers! i dismissed chocolate fingers!) and well, it's all a bit of a blur really.

i'm sorry, where am i?

bushra | permalink | |

about that headache. if i haven't got one already, a driving lesson almost always brings it on. which isn't good if you have a teleconference thing straight after. especially one that goes on for nearly two hours, your work phone doesn't do speakerphone and you haven't got a handsfree:

the authority part 2: i don't know about you lot but i'm all talked out.
me: i might have burned a good chunk of my brain. but then i've been using mobiles for a while and haven't had major problems...
him: ...
office person #1: ...
office person #2: ... how do we break this to you?

bushra | permalink | |

thank you, shutterfool, for the 40 question meme.

(forty questions! forty!)


1) Who is the last person you high-fived?
S, she's one of the girls at sister #1's, the younger one. a couple of weeks ago sister #4 visited with the nieces, and she immediately joined forces with the older sister N. they're the skinny ones, you see, and of course, that must make them better than S and me:

S: bush-reh! they're makin' fun of us!
me: are they? what seems to be the problem?
S: they're sayin' we're fat!
me: is that so?
sister #4: yes, and we also think we have better boobs than you.
me: er, hello? what boobs?

high five innit.

2) If you were drafted into a war, would you survive.
i don't know. i was captured by the enemy once in a turf war in 1985, and ended up with a bleeding lip. of course brothers #2 and #3 retaliated, so i suppose if i had them with me, then oo-rah!

3) Do you sleep with the TV on?
nope.

4) Have you ever drunk milk straight out of the carton?
nope.

5) Have you ever won a spelling bee?
no, but i won a skipping race in junior school, and the 200m in secondary school.

6) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
yep. and a wasp. and electrical wiring. a few times with the wiring. watch out for the wiring!

7) How fast can you type?
fast enough for bradfordians to think i have some smartness in my brains.

8) Are you afraid of the dark?
as a kid i was. but not any more.

9) Eye color:
brown.

10) Have you ever made out at a drive-in?
nope.

11) When was the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
yesterday. why? will my answer affect the spacetime continuum of the blogosphere?

12) Do you knock on wood?
nope.

13) Do you floss daily?
hardly.

15) Can you hula hoop?
no but i know a niece who can hula hoop and spin herself around at the same time.

16) Are you good at keeping secrets?
terrible. oh so rubbish. but you can talk to me if you want.

17) What do you want for Christmas?
hey, a car would be nice.

18) Do you know the Muffin Man?
ah, no.

19) Do you talk in your sleep?
i might have. maybe.

20) Who wrote the book of love?
not me.

21) Have you ever flown a kite?
nope.

22) Do you wish on your fallen lashes?
no.

23) Do you consider yourself successful?
well, i still can't seem to walk in high heels yet, so i doubt it.

24) How many people are on your contact list of your cell?
i had about 100, but tidied it down to 70.

25) Have you ever asked for a pony?
no way. i learnt my lesson after i asked for a barbie doll.

26) Plans for tomorrow?
chi-i-i-i-i-i-i-il.

27) Can you juggle?
why, after the motivation course on wednesday, yes i can!

28) Missing someone now?
the nieces. all the time.

29) When was the last time you told someone "I love you"?
yesterday.

30) And truly meant it?
yesterday! seriously, who stuck a pickle up your nose?

31) How often do you drink?
water? as often as i can. maybe coke. maybe tea. that's it.

32) How are you feeling today?
a bit headachy. but then i get headaches all the time.

33) What do you say too much?
innit.

34) Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
no, and i'll have you know i was prefect in years 10-11, so there.

35) What are you looking forward to?
getting my own car. i've just got to pass my test first, innit.

36) Have you ever crawled through a window?
crawled, climbed, jumped, you name it.

37) Have you ever eaten dog food?
ew no! who are you?

38) Can you handle the truth?
i don't know, can you?

39) Do you like green eggs and ham?
i do not like them, Sam-I-am.

40) Any cool scars?
now we're talking. there's the chip on my forehead because at the age of 9 i thought getting out of a giant truck must be exactly like getting out of a car and misjudged how high up the seat actually was. some burns on my right hand and legs from a house fire in 1979. a deep scar on my thumb after playing with a brand new victorinox kitchen knife. oh and i was about 24 when that happened.

and for my favourite part. the tagging. i choose you, pikachu! wait. i mean labmonkie, nicky and you, the podite! there's something for your blog!

bushra | permalink | |

the podite has a few quiet (or not) months ahead of him at home, mrs podite has a list of house jobs all ready and waiting. i also suggested it was time he got round to blogging:

me: you could blog about your t-shirts.
him: t-shirts?
me: yeah, you know, the ones you’ve collected in the loft!
him: they are not t-shirts, those are football shirts!
me: ok, football shirts then. maybe you could do a football shirt of the week feature. you know, like the way brian has weekly features like the cut-up poem, the band situation update, or the LA weekly personals, or the rocky horror update.
him: that’s a good idea. but then brian looks like he’s actually got a life, you know, with those pictures of the sofas and the wheelie bins…
me: yeah, they only look right on brian’s blog really.
him: speaking of brian, is he american or english?
me: brian? he’s irish.
him: ah, that explains a lot. like those ‘in derry’ features, i always wondered how they were so accurate.
me: so yeah. you could do something similar, a weekly feature on a football shirt from your collection, and, and. do you have any other collections?
him: i used to collect matchboxes…
me: nah, better leave that one to it.
him: you may be right. beer mats! what about beer mats?
me: i think that might have been done before. but you get the idea, right? or you could just start posting random stuff until you find some direction. of course, i still haven’t found any direction, i'm still posting anything and everything. and you do realise i’m going to blog this conversation?
him: what? not if i get there first!

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this was going to be a boring post about how i have managed to end up walking around with three phones, but then i thought, nah.

bushra | permalink | |

so hey. i was at a healthcare conference/exhibition in harrogate yesterday. i introduced one of the office people to looting the free stuff. hey, they even supplied bags to carry the stuff home, so stop shaking your head. wanna know what i got?

1 cadbury's creme egg.
1 plastic card dispensing not-so-strong mints.
2 ickle pen lights (the kind doctors flash at your eyes, like they do on ER!)
1 page-up, which is handy, for the desk.
2 64 mb usb pen drives. one of them is for sister #4, the student innit.
1 small teddy bear.
1 small soft football.
post-its. there's always post-its.
1 pink highlighter with a twisty function on the end, which opens to reveal a tiny bookmark dispenser. neat!
3/4/5 pens.
five highlighters in one, in the shape of a giant flower.
a pot of tiny red wooden pegs and funky looking paperclips.
a radio/light in the shape of a giant red and white pill/capsule.
a yellow highlighter, in the shape of a syringe.

see that? i saved the best for last. oh, and they used red ink last year, but got into a whole lot of trouble for that. and if you really are dismayed by just how much i managed to carry home, it was also part of a dare. didn't i do well?

bushra | permalink | |

seriously. how many tubs of those M & S mini bites are office people trying to get through before the 3 for £5 offer ends?

bushra | permalink | |

sister in law A, the return of.

her: melbourne is in sheffield, isn't it?
me: no it isn't.
her: yes it is.
me: melbourne is in AUS-TRA-LIA.
her: but they're having the games, in melbourne, which is in sheffield.
me: do you really think the commonwealth games would come to sheffield?
her: ...

yes. it's that easy to confuse the commonwealth games with channel 4's the games.

bushra | permalink | |

working from home today, had a driving lesson. sister in law A was watching tv while i finished things off:

her: sometimes, i wish i was a mermaid.
me: ...
her: or maybe a fairy.
me: but you've got your GCSE's coming up?
her: oh. oh yeah, that's true.

bushra | permalink | |

hey, the england flags are coming out of hibernation. what's going on?

bushra | permalink | |

one of those moments where you're in between tracks on the mp3 player, and all you catch is the bus driver shriek 'am ah being a bitch today, or am i a good lass?'

bushra | permalink | |

honest. i don't know where my head is at this week.

office person: bushra, when are you going on that motivation course again?
me: ...
office person: ...
me: ...
office person: ...
me: the sooner the better.

bushra | permalink | |

feedback from the authority part 2:

'nice cup of tea'.

but of course.

bushra | permalink | |

the twins were playing the karaoke on miniclip this evening, i found them singing along to 'since you been gone'. i can recommend 'ring of fire' to brother #4. anyway. i was checking mp3 blogs on the pocket phone gizmo and came across yet another coldplay post:

me: look at the staaaaars!

sister in law B looks out of the window.

me: ...
twin A: ...
sister in law B: ...
me: look how they shine for yoooooouuuu......

bushra | permalink | |

'ere, that aphex twin track, innit great?

bushra | permalink | |

ey up, i was expecting boxes on my desk this morning after my phone bleeped with new email, at er, four in the morning (i need to sort that out):

Just dropped the dat tapes and flashcard at the film center. The person working in the equipment room kinda looked at me like I was crazy when I asked to put them in your office on the desk. She wanted to just toss them in your box. I told her I'd prefer them safely locked up and that you wanted them put in there. She still wouldn't do it right away, but she said she'd put them in there later. Hopefully that's where they end up. So, if you don't find them in your office, there's a good bet they ended up in your box.

Hope they're easily discovered...

-A

don't you just love getting emails that aren't meant for you? the last ones i had were from a guy who made t-shirts using hemp.

bushra | permalink | |

you know how william shatner is doing those all bran adverts? why are they playing the theme tune to cagney and lacey and not tj hooker?

yes yes, TV was my only friend when i was a kid...

bushra | permalink | |

now, i know i said getting this phone/pocket pc/rocket launcher would mean i might start blogging a bit more, but fortunately the girls at sister #1's pointed out i can go shopping on this thing!

bushra | permalink | |

phew! busy day today, i'm using my last day of time off this year (i get more in april, so panic over) to get niece #2's birthday cake. and then i need to do some tidying up, and after that help sister #2 make samosas innit. oh, and a two hour driving lesson at 6 tonight. ow. but that's ok, because i've finally managed to get blogger working on the internet explorer on my phone, opera mini is just too tricky. wait, i mean pocket pc. i mean phone. i'll stick a picture on flickr:



and you can delete as appropriate, how's that?

bushra | permalink | |

this is a test post from the new phone. did it work?

bushra | permalink | |

yesterday the authority part 2 described this blog as brilliant. possibly 'bloody brilliant'. i can't remember. but oh, it's all the same innit.

bushra | permalink | |

ideas on a postcard. i mean in the comments box.

with a week to go i'm still stumped for a birthday present for niece #2. it's nephew #1's birthday too this month, and sister #4 has their presents all wrapped up. she's going to come up this weekend with the nieces. high pitched scream of excitement goes here.

her: don't tell nephew #1 about his present though, i want his mum to give his nearer to his birthday.
me: ah.
her: what?
me: you know how you called me and told me what you'd bought them?
her: yes...
me: i went round after and bragged about how i knew what their presents were and i wasn't going to tell them!
her: no!
me: it was funny! nephew #1 was like is it batman? is it brum? is it a book?
her: oh well. never mind.

so anyway. i don't know what to get. nothing special. niece #2 likes charm bracelets but nephew #3 has a habit of sticking beads up his nose, so sister #2 has ruled out jewellery.

bushra | permalink | |

this one's been sitting around for ages

sheffield. no, rotherham, 9th february 2006.

me: rotherham central station please.
taxi driver: rotherham central it is.
me: ok.
him: got far to travel?
me: bradford.
him: that's a fair bit.
me: yep.
him: i used to live in bradford.
me: really?
him: i used to know the yorkshire ripper.
me: ...
him: we went to the same pub. i kind of knew of him, i used to go to the pub with my dad, and he'd go to the same pub with his...
me: how far are we from the station?

bushra | permalink | |

that meme.

noorster tagged me with the bunch of questions meme a while back, but i didn't do it because i can never get this meme thing to work, it always stops when someone tags me. anyway. nicky has tagged me too so i'll give it a go:

4 jobs I've had in my life:

1. library assistant: not an actual librarian, but hey, when would that stop a bradfordian from taking the piss?
2. council tax call centre person: this one's funny. odd here and there reader of fudge it Lee had to listen in on me having a conversation in Punjabi with an old man worried about council tax arrears. i don't speak Punjabi well, and Lee sat there reading his NME the whole time. i lasted one and a half weeks.
3. systems support type job at Birmingham Central Library, with J, he of the test tube babies and guitar processors. what can i say?
4. my current job title is senior business analyst and data modeller. whoa. come back in about three years and i'll tell you all about it.

4 movies I can watch over and over again:

1. the royal tenenbaums. the nieces and i love the scene where Royal takes the boys out for the day.
2. the princess bride. why hasn't anyone heard of it?!
3. the paper. i don't why, but i just can.
4. seriously. how can you tie me down to just four movies? there's more than that so i can't make a fourth choice. ha!

4 2 places I have lived:

1. birmingham
2. bradford

4 TV shows I love to watch:

1. emmerdale. it's funn-eh, i tell yer!
2. coronation street. another funny 'un. did you see sally give janice a well deserved smack in the face earlier this week? priceless!
3. brat camp. bratcampbratcampbratcamp.
4. CSI.

4 places I have been on vacation:

To quote noorster: 'I'm not a vacation person, so I'm skipping this one.'

4 websites I visit daily:

1. bloglines , featuring most of my blogroll. i don't know why i don't just give this up and read them via my own list of links, i've forgotten what some of them look like. and what your blog looks like is pretty important i think. especially for me. i'm not sure about the blue with the purple.
2. news.bbc.co.uk
3. amazon.co.uk to keep up my end of the bargain for the deal with brother #1.
4. lately, a bit of perez hilton. it's what you do when you give up heat magazine.

4 favourite foods:

1. the grilled aubergine bagel at Bagel Nash. mmm. with mango pickle, lettuce and tomatoes, on a cheese and jalapeno bagel. minus the houmous. how d'you spell that? or the cinnamon and raisin bagel with honey. or the chocolatey bagel with nutella.
2. cherry green & blacks. you don't know what you're missing.
3. salt and vinegar kettle chips.
4. pasta. the bradfordians all made pasta jokes when i arrived last year, and now they're all dropping hints in the hope i'll send some round. in fact. a ruling granny came round while i was making a fish pie last weekend, saw the big pot of mash and called it hospital food before picking up a wooden spoon and scooping some in a plate. after she finishes she asks 'how long does this take in the oven?' 'three hours', i tell her. she can never sit around for that long.

4 places I'd rather be right now:

1. Birmingham, in the park across the road with the nieces.
2. Birmingham, doing the parents ironing.
3. Birmingham, going to the movies with sister #4.
4. Birmingham, having a screaming match with sister #5.

still with me? sorry if i went on for a bit too long. to make up for that here's a link to an EastEnders weblog. in german! oh, wait. i have to tag someone. step forward bubbles at labmonkie! you do realise i'm going to be tagging you for memes from now on?

bushra | permalink | |

i think the authority part 2 was actually more disappointed than i was that i haven't received the new phone yet (something about nobody was at the front desk at work to sign for it, which is a lie). seriously. someone more disappointed than me, and it's my phone! and he has the xda exec on orange anyway.

also. henry mancini did walk like an egyptian? i can't believe it. it sounds like the theme tune to a 70's martial arts cop drama or something. brother #4's gonna love it.

bushra | permalink | |

process this...

"You have to spit into a tissue or a bag, then place it in a dustbin to complete the process."

also. channel 4 announces its new TV line up for the spring season, including a dramatic recreation of the bradford riots. hey, if this is filmed at the location where the actual riots took place you'll be able to see where i live. ex-citing!

bushra | permalink | |

i dunno.

whaddayathink?

bushra | permalink | |

inbox.

from podite:

One piece of advice for when you take your test, and that's Take Your
Glasses....its a bit of advice that no one gave me, which meant that I only
just scrapped through the number plate reading bit...I guessed at two
letters, and luckily I guessed right!

er, is that in addition to my contacts?

When you pass your test will you go driving around the streets of Bradford,
in the mornings, looking for relatives standing at bus stops, to offer them
lifts?

no no no no no. and besides, they never use public transport around here, they always manage to find someone with a car to drive them around. yesterday the mister had to take one of the ruling grandfathers for a hospital appointment, only to find he didn't actually have an appointment.

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