fudge it

Uh Oh!

N had been loudly expounding the virtues of the Eat-Right-4-Your-Type Diet when The Authority called us all into a nearby office for "a word".

Authority: I know you are all leaving soon and you might feel de-mob happy but can you keep it down! I'm not telling you not to talk just be aware of the other people around you.

We all bowed our heads.

M: Sorry...
S: Sorry...
N: Sorry...

Snigger Snigger Snigger

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Back in the day

Ten-year old girl: Remember back when...
Eight-year old boy: Is this going to be another of your dramatic flashbacks?
Ten-year old girl: ...

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Talking with the team about what lies ahead for them when they all disband...

M: I'd like to travel around a bit, before I get my next job.
N: You mean get a camper Van?
M: Yeh, if I get a camper Van we could all travel round together....It could be like the Mystery Machine...
K: M could be Daphnie, N could be Velma and S would make a great Shaggy.
M: And K you could be Scooby!
K: Thanks!!!
S: ......urgh.

Bushra, I'm afraid that this means that you'd have to be Fred!

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Lor' luv a duck! Know what I mean?

Gawdon Bennet! Hello, I've finaly got my plaster in'er gear an' posted sommink on Bushra's blog! Cor blimey I got my greengages from the pitch and toss, so I had a sky rocket stuffed with bangers and mash on Saturday and lawd above! I had a nang lemon & lime with my old china. Awright geeezzaa! OK.

I'm not sure that I can keep this Cockney slang up much longer, but Bushra's made me promise that I should write in nothing else! However, all has become clear today as it looks as if Cockney Rhyming Slang is now under threat (someone had better tell the cast of Eastenders the terrible news), and as Bushra is very proud of her East End roots she is keen that her blog should become the last bastion of it!

I finally got to meet Bushra's gang on Saturday, and a thoroughly nice bunch they were too....not at all like they are portrayed within the pages of this blog! All of the nieces and nephews were like little angels and Bushra's sisters & Mum and Dad were very nice. I didn't get a chance to meet any of the brothers, but I'm sure they to would have turned out to be gentlemen.

sister #2 (or it could have been #4: All we want is for the truth about us to be told.
nephew #9: We read these horrible things about us in Bushra's blog, and can do nothing about it...if only there was someone who could tell our side of the story!
niece #1: (her voice shaking with fear, and a tear rolling down her face) If she knew that we were telling you these things then we would be in terrible trouble!
podite: Lawd above! I'll 'ry ter get yaaahr mornin' glory told. Sorted mate.
sister #2, nephew #9 and niece #1: Why does he keep talking in that fake London accent?

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Result!

Update

Bushra:Please let Scooterdeb know she is doing a fantastic job on the blog!
Brian: ...

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Flower Power Hour

Me: Did we say anything funny today for Bushra's blog?
Brian: Does this count?
Me: For me.
Brian: Then, no.
Me: I'm posting that.
Brian: Don't post that.
Me: I'm posting that.
Brian: I'm going to send Bushra a text message and tell her you're ruining her blog.
Niece #3: ...

bushra | permalink | |

Blatherize

Me: Burglarized? Isn't that the word for it?
Brian: No. It's burgled.
Me: Haha.
Brian: Burgled is a word.
Me: What's wrong with burglarized? Is it because it's a verb made out of a noun?
Brian: No, it's because it's a word pulled out of your arse.
Niece #3: ...

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are you still here?

this lunchtime with office person M and office person S, we watched each and every replay of the head on collision between those baseball players. hey, look at that! a sports link! i like the way the hyperlink to the video clip includes in brackets: 'not for the faint of heart'. but you're all going to watch it anyway, aren't you?

funny how i'm leaving on the last day of Big Brother. sure, i planned it all along:

J: Two large men running headfirst into each other at speed may not be for the faint-hearted, but personally I am more offended by the use of expressions such as 'hospitalized'. Did you know Americans even have their properties 'burglarized'? Anyway. It's the last night. No, I'm all right. Honestly. I've just got something in my eye.

i'm really really signing off this time. i think.

bushra | permalink | |

the last day.

it doesn't feel like it. but yes, my last day at the office. the authority works from home on a friday, but yesterday he gave me the thumbs up and i said 'peace'. mad. and still it didn't feel like i was leaving. but hey, everyone leaves something behind, and mine is a porcupine made from blu tack and plastic drink stirrers.

it's all guest bloggers from now on i suppose. i'm going to listen to the bollywood freaks on har's radio blog again and again and again.

bushra | permalink | |

oh so petty.

i wasn't going to post anything. really i wasn't. according to decisions i made last week i'm supposed to forget this weblog for the next five weeks. whatever. following an emergency meeting in the kitchen yesterday evening, we were still unable to come to a final decision:

brother #2: he says he's going to leave it on there.
sister #5: i don't understand. his own family are complaining about it!
sister #2: maybe we should get some quail in again?
me: quail? forget quail! we need to get another rooster. just don't eat it this time.
brother #2: ye-e-e-e-s, or some sort of garden windmill thing that rattles every time it spins round...can you get one of those?
me: i'm not sure. wait. if we do get anything it'll have to go on the front side of the house.
sister #5: yes, the best friend says he sleeps in a room to the front. look, why don't i just climb on to the roof, and cut it off?
sister #2: it is on one of the branches of our trees after all...

what are we talking about? the head of the house next door has installed a windchime in the garden. nice, you say? not if it's on a small swaying branch and jingling 24 hours a day!

(is jingling a word?)

bushra | permalink | |

now then. guest bloggers.

here's the line-up so far, i think i might be able to get brother #1 in on this but i can't be sure. however, meet:

Nicky: with blogs at Creative Force Online and Magpie Angel, a Creative Force Online shop, a Flickr page and a few more projects up her sleeve. and there's me thinking i was quite the multi-tasker.

Scooterdeb: visit her blog at Cheaper Than Therapy. also a Flickr peep and more recently passing on tips gleaned from Trinny and Susannah to her new found shopping buddy (looooong story).

Podite: a commenter who has made various appearances on fudge it, he's going to give this 'inter blog-site' a go and maybe, just maybe he'll get one of his own.

that's it from oh so sneezy me, though. honest!

bushra | permalink | |

can't talk much right now. no, really, i can't. sore throat. and assorted aches and pains. as far as i know i didn't get into any fights or have any falling down the stairs/walking into doors/other mishaps yesterday, so it must be the flu or something. that's it. i'm going to stop blogging for now. i have another week to go before i leave work, the authority didn't take much persuading and let me take four weeks off instead of three, so i may be away for a while.

bushra | permalink | |

you know that medical show on BBC1? Your Life In Their Hands? whenever i catch the last bit of the trailer for that show i keep registering it as Their Life in Your Hands. and from the medical scenario i figured that it must be yet another reality show, only this time viewers get to decide which patient gets the life-saving operation. just how mad is that?

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see? i told you i'd have something. S received some very dodgy voicemail a few days ago.

S: listen to this. it's really strange.
me: ok....oh my god. that was well dodgy, forward it so i can blog it!

file received. so i listened to it in full, and caught the growl at the end.

me: oh my god! i just heard that bit at the end!
S: i know!
me: i think it's a ghost! what if it's like the ring? what if you're cursed, oh my god we could be dead in a week!
S: nice (!)

listen. at your own risk.

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busy busy busy. though whenever i say that or can't think of anything to post something will always turn things around and i'm posting stuff when really i've got more important things to do. so you know, it might get a bit quiet round here. or it might not. hmm. almost forgot:

thought for the week: be brutal.

you can waste a lot of time pursuing unprofitable, frustrating, time-consuming courses of action. be brutal about deciding which tasks are worth investing your time and energy in.

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