fudge it

brr, it's cold in here

can you believe it! a traffic jam outside the house at 11.30pm! the ice was that bad, and the bus was so slow, i got off the bus halfway through the journey and walked home instead.

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Migraine 'may raise stroke risk:' Scientists have found evidence people who suffer from migraine have damage in an area of the brain called the cerebellum. And the more frequent the migraine attacks, the higher the risk of damage.

argh, not what i want to hear about, thank you. so. medical museum in leeds on thursday, hospital in bradford on friday, and mad house in birmingham on saturday. i mean home. this should be fun.

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what happens when you visit your old job.

S: so bushra! which job would you rather be at? At your new one or back here?
me: neither.


C: (something about Lord of the Rings, can't remember what)
me: i haven't seen ANY of them.
C and M: (both stop and gasp) bush-RA! what do you mean, you haven't seen any of them?! oh, my, god!

K and i are far more concerned with kill bill, innit. also. oh no, it's SNOWING!

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winamp: aah i remember when i used to have winamp, thinking it was cool to download sony and kenwood skins so brothers #3 -5 would look on in envy (until my mad cousin called me an mp3 freak, and i realised exactly how much of my time got wasted on mp3-ing, and thank god for minidisc, innit.) but getting paid a hundred million for it?!

[via linkmachinego]

i got my super duper, oh-so-compact hi fi back today! i'll never play with home wiring ever again! it seems the whole time it has been at the repair place everything i touch falls to pieces. or gets deleted. or worse still dies. yeah, i just added that last bit for effect. even niece #4 doesn't like me. every time i hold her she wants to break wind.

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noisy office people...

...or not so noisy office people?

N: what was pythagoras' theorem again?
K: ah, let's see now, it was, it was the square on that side, it was....er A? how about you?
A: ah well, I, I...
me: you don't remember it? it was the square on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides...
K + A: yes, yes that's right, that's what it is.
N: i just forgot that's all, and i wanted to know what it was.

who goes? you decide. just don't tell them that i know from memory that Π= 3.141592654

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J: 'You're going to a MEDICAL MUSEUM? You gotta be kidding me. A medical museum? Seriously? I shall be requiring a fairly detailed report on the medical museum, if you get to see any of the exhibits. Seriously? You're going to a medical museum?'

gotta admit, i wasn't looking forward to visiting a medical museum for a work conference this week. but now i'm hoping i can sneak off during the dreaded Q & A bit at the end (I can't believe people actually ask questions!) and catch 'Hannah's Ordeal: Hannah Dyson's Ordeal is not for the faint hearted! In this reconstruction of an 1840s operating theatre you join 11-year-old Hannah, just as she is about to go through a leg amputation after being crushed in a factory accident.' the thing about leeds, bradford et al is how they make everything sound exciting by sticking exclamation marks at the end. 'nanotechnology makes its mark in manningham!' it didn't, but you know what i mean. oh, forget it. medical museum, innit!

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Are you Spatially Unaware? [at diamond geezer]:I firmly believe that some people have no idea quite how much space they're taking up. This has nothing to do with weight, and everything to do with thoughtlessness. These people blunder through life oblivious to everyone but themselves, getting in everybody else's way, never once aware that they might be inconveniencing those around them. We've all met them, we've all been annoyed by them... but are you one yourself? Probably without noticing? Test yourself against this handy checklist. Score 5 points for each that applies to you.

how about the question: do you ever walk diagonally along the pavement, moving from right to left so s-l-o-w-ly, not bothering to think that there just might be people behind you thinking 'walk in a straight line, dammit!'

this morning the woman opposite me on the bus sat there with this huge wad of M&S receipts, she was trying to find the one for all the stuff she'd bought but was planning on returning today. guess it's just vouchers for her then.

on saturday: niece #3, while walking up the stairs with tip tops for herself and niece #1, says to herself: 'here! that's yours! no, that's yours, this is mine!' you know how the older sister gets the new stuff and the younger one gets the hand-me-downs? she ain't having none of that.

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argh!

go see the moblog. it's the only record of pictures taken on the phone i have left. someone thought it would be funny to see what happens when they hit the 'delete all' button in the photo section of my phone.

thank you for the pictures K.

bushra | permalink | |

for J

Sleep 'can increase brain power:' Scientists say that they have shown how the brain can crack complex mental puzzles while its owner is sleeping. Research at Luebeck university, in Germany, says tests on 106 volunteers back up anecdotal evidence that a good night's sleep can help solve problems.

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Boxing future for Muslim women: For the next hour, Razia Shabnam goes through her paces, as early morning walkers gape at her. "She's the woman boxer. Be careful of her!" quips one passer-by.

flippin' heck.

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outlook: grim

every morning i leave the house so early, only to catch the bus driven by the Slowest Driver in the World. ever.

for the first ever picture in brian's series of StarBurst Art, go see the moblog. now.

it's 8.30 am, and someone has approached one of my colleagues for advice on where to get the best salsa dancing lessons...

her: the thing is they know you're new, and pick you out especially to demonstrate in front of everyone else.
him: yes...hmmm...right...

and i'm sure i just heard her mention her 'salsa shoes.' try saying that really fast.

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msg received:
aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
msg sent:
aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh innit.

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you know when you're sitting at your desk and you're so bored out of your brain, that when you look at your screen for longer than ten seconds all the letters on the screen just join up and become one big fuzzy image? that.

bushra | permalink | |

i went to visit niece #4 yesterday. she was asleep so i just stood there watching her the whole time. what bothered me was the really noisy family next door. the partner had brought in a little stereo for his missus, and would occasionally start rapping along to whatever was playing, and he'd get caught up in it so much his voice would get louder and louder. and they must have had at least ten visitors as well, and they wouldn't shut up either. i lost count of how many times the niece started in her sleep. when i pulled a face in the direction of the noisy hospital people, in the same way the mother pulls a face at the dad when she's really pissed off with him, the woman in the bed opposite started laughing.

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Bomb 'joke' student jailed: A British woman is being held in a US prison after she joked with an airport policeman that she was carrying a bomb. Shropshire student Samantha Marson triggered a security alert as she waited to board a British Airways flight from Miami back to Britain, The Sun reported. The 21-year-old from Bridgnorth was asked what was in her rucksack and told officials she had a bomb.

Hello K, please can you pull that face you do when dealing with very stupid people?

bushra | permalink | |

uh oh. i think i might have to change my phone number.

alternatively, could the person who keeps calling me at any time of day that suits them (say 3am, for like, three days in a row) and not me, please piss off!! and that's not counting the 8 missed calls on sunday either!

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Spices to flourish in Bradford's urban Eden: Britain is set to get its own version of a spice island, a "Coriander Street" complex of greenhouses, restaurants and shops in the centre of Bradford, devoted to smelling, seeing, feeling and eating the taste of the East.

Sounds interesting, the bit about the 'revenge of the corner shop' made me laugh.

[thanks to brian for the link.]

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niece #4 was delivered by caesarian, T at crapcoffee talks obs and gynae, add this to my bitchin yet regular as clockwork migraine, plus sister #4 playing a mariah carey cd.

i think i'm going to be sick.

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so after the mother and baby are moved from the delivery suite to the ward, the nurse says she has to check the baby's tags. and she reads out loud:

'baby girl of sister-in-law #1, born 10:04 hours on 16-01-04.'

they did read out other numbers and stuff, but i wasn't paying that much attention to the nurses, innit.

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who am i?

brian: You're not really a complete stranger, but you occupy a strange territory between the known and the unknown.

bushra | permalink | |

desk neighbour: ok, let's see how this Google thing works.

you can laugh, but not in a mean way.

bushra | permalink | |

message to sister #4:

get on with your work!

bushra | permalink | |

noisy office person #1 picks up the phone and says:

'hello?...indeedy-doody it is...'

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argh! bother! @$%#{!!!

i think i'm angry, i'm not sure.

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The Weight Watchers Recipe Cards circa 1974: 'These cards mystify me. None of them have calorie or nutrition information of any kind, and in some instances it's hard to tell what's dietetic about the recipes at all, except that they're unspeakably grim. And yet also, completely insane. They appear to be from a much kookier era of Weight Watchers. There's a certain serve-it-at- your-next-key-party freakiness to a lot of these dishes.'


J: The recipe card which makes me laugh most is the shrimp and orange salad. I'd love to know what the green liquid in the bowl is.

[thanks for the link, mister.]

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say what?

J: In the '24 Hours' section of today's Times: 'The state of Arkansas executes convicted murderer Charles Singleton, 44, a man with a severe mental illness. Singleton is forcibly given anti-psychotic drugs which make him lucid enough under court guidelines to be put to death.'
me: That reminds me of what Kilroy said about the Arabs.
J: Do I know what Kilroy said about the Arabs?
me: This is what Kilroy said about the Arabs.
J: Good old Kilroy; always one to address an issue in a rational, well-informed and articulate manner.
me: Innit.

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Chemical shock for Brummies. Brummies were found to be particularly toxic. More people in the city were found to be contaminated with a flame retardant chemical known as deca-brominated dipheyl ether (deca-BDE) than people from all the other test centres across the UK.

serious, i'm sure, but is it ok if i laugh at the title?

(google search result: define brummie)

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a take on darts players on ben's blog: 'They all look at least faintly ridiculous. And no-one looks more ridiculous than Andy 'The Viking' Fordham. The long-haired King Kong of the darts world, Andy's enormous forearms are like something out of 'Popeye' and suggest that he spends an awful lot of his time, er, playing darts.'

darts players remind me of those characters you'd see in asterix comics. you know, roman leaders lounging in their tents, they'd have the chubbiest hands holding these tiny bunches of grapes and stuff. of course the only example you can easily find online is of obelix, but you can't pick on obelix really, can you?

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Blood boils in UK workplaces: A health worker interviewed for the study said of a colleague: "She is incredibly loud. When she comes into the office everything is disrupted, everything is disturbed."

reminds me of some people i know. though they very rarely give me nightmares, i'd say the noisy office people are funny in their own weird way.

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(baby-related title here)

whoa. january must be the month of the er, baby. dan became an uncle last week, analogue boy became analogue dad over christmas, i got an email from one of my friends from sixth form who also became an uncle on monday, and next week sister-in-law #1 will be having niece/nephew #8 by caesarian section. that's a lot of babies, innit.

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so...

...is anybody else getting referrals from presidential campaign websites, such as this one or maybe even this one? i think the second guy has a cooler picture.

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niece #3 started throwing up in the kitchen yesterday, and didn't stop until about 5 minutes later.

niece #1 sees me cleaning up the, er, mess and says : 'i love my sister. she's beautiful.'

aaaaah.

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martha: d'you know i've always wanted to go see a panto, i've never been before.
noisy office person: oh yes you have.
noisy office people: ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

for 2004, my new year resolution will be to write more about the noisy office people.

it's not going to work, is it?

bushra | permalink | |

hear me roar.

Blog What? '...Fudge It, is all about one person talking about anything and everything on his mind. This online diary is a way for this person to have his opinions heard and read by anyone around the world.'

imagine. my blog. as research. wait a second:

me: do i write like a guy? do i?
brian: Heck no. Far too much common sense. A guy would write drivel....like what I do, right?

so much for the blogchalk.

bushra | permalink | |

New Year's Day...

...and New Year TV. The woman on BBC1 sounded very excited as she announced the film, and the picture changes to mountains, lakes, meadows....

brother #2: i've been there.
me: what, switzerland?
brother #2: nope.
me: austria?
brother #2: nope.
me: france?
brother #2: no, the himalayas.
me: but it's the sound of music?!

i'd have sat and watched it, but then i remembered a story on the news ages ago, about how it was the anniversary or something for this film, and to mark it a whole load of fans turned up to a special screening dressed as nuns or something. whatever. failing to enlist the help of brother #1 to look at the possible dodgy wiring in my room, the dad offered to help.

me: shouldn't we switch the electricity off first?
him: no, i'm just going to look at it. there, see this side, the screw is loose on it. let me look at the other side.
one bang and a flash of light. no sparks.
him: whoo! that blinded me a bit.
me: yes. me too. no, don't do it again! switch the power off first!
him: it's popped once, it won't do it again.
followed by an even louder bang, a bigger flash and lots of sparks.
him: i can't see anything now.
me: no. i can't see anything either.

but it's all working now. and that's what matters, right?

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