fudge it

It's New Years Eve, and you're one of four people at your office right now...

Q: what do you do when you're bored?
A: post pointless blog entries.

Q: what do you do when you're very very bored?
A: why, a quiz! (i quite like this result.)



You are DNA. You're a smart person, and you appear
incredibly complex to people who don't know
you. You're incomparably full of information,
and most of it is useless.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm going home, honest!

bushra | permalink | |

The loser's guide to getting lucky: 'Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck. I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune. '

me: someone up there has really got it in for me.
sister #5: ha?
me: i said, someone up there has really got it in for me.
sister #5: what do you mean? i don't understand. (looks up to ceiling) who are you talking about?

danger. 'holiday season' = many blog entries where you talk about how crap everything is. this morning i slept through an alarm (i never sleep through any alarm!). after brother #5 drove me to work, i sat at my desk for half an hour repeating the same thought over and over again: 'i left the walkman at home.'

(that thought eventually replaced with 'are you sure? go check your coat pocket.' so i did. and there it was!)

today, i'm going to take my lunch break early and watch home and away upstairs. to echo J's words: 'Rock 'n' RAAAAAAAAAWL!!!!!'

and then at the end of today, i think i'll sleep right through to my next working day, so Hap-py New Year, ok?

bushra | permalink | |

highindustrial. four column blog, and it isn't messy looking, either.

sister #4: i'm in the city centre with sister #2, call us when you finish work (28 minutes exactly), we'll see you here.
me: hmm, ok.
sister #4: why do you always sound like you're dead at work?
me: listen. (i hold my phone up. not too high.)
sister #4: er, i can't hear anything?
me: exactly!

bushra | permalink | |

fwd

looks like i'm not the only person stuck at work. from my hotmail: bugging you.

my eyes are burning a bit today.

bushra | permalink | |

my birthday star: Tell the Birthday Stars computer when you were born, and it will look for a star that is your age in light years away from Earth. This means that the light we're seeing from that star today actually left the star around when you were born, and has taken your entire life to reach Earth.

[via deadmanjones]

bushra | permalink | |

my head is seriously messed up this week. yesterday i used a bus pass that was out of date to get around (obviously i wasn't the only one with a problem, not one of the drivers noticed). and my hi-fi, yes, my lovely lovely minidisc system is half dead. i can't even sit around feeling sorry for myself, i have to act all human and customer-like to get it fixed.

this morning i paid more way too much bus fare than i should have done, completely confusing the driver. and even though it wasn't safe to laugh, i went ahead and laughed at seeing the flooded ground floor at boots looking like a swimming pool. then i stopped laughing, walked out and got covered in snow. it's a three day week, i keep telling myself, it can't get any worse.

bushra | permalink | |

brainhell: Here is one of the images from the MRI. It's a bit fuzzy because I took the picture with my digital camera and maybe my hands were shaking? I don't claim that it shows the evidence of the Mystery Condition, I just chose it because it shows the cool staring eyeballs. It's weird looking at your own brain. And sinuses. Quite frankly it looks like something I might eat for lunch. Tasty fresh meat.

bushra | permalink | |

where. do. we. go. from. here?

track 16 off once more with feeling will not stop playing in my head. it's on the minidisc player, but a low battery means i can't listen to it at my desk. there's no way i'd wander through the city centre without my walkman on these days.

see this is what happens when you have to work on the 29th december. and go on surprise drives through lozells ( me: 'do you know, i'm sure someone was shot round here over christmas.') i'm going home.

bushra | permalink | |

bargains, much cheapness

(if anyone remembers hearing those three words before, then they must watch more tv than i ever did.)

sale shopping. i f*cking hate it. i told sister #2, 'oh i only go shopping when i actually need something these days.' and while she looks like she's listening, she isn't.

me: so when we go out tomorrow, what do you need to buy?
sister #2: everything!

bother.

bushra | permalink | |

ouch!

this find at found made me laugh.

bushra | permalink | |

the birmingham wheel

or the wheel of birmingham, or the roue de paris, call it what you want. eight revolutions for a fiver (no, not a bargain, innit.) but i got you pictures. and a sound recording. there are four buttons on the ceiling of the little cabins. press 'wheel facts' and you get something in german. (yes, that is my dopey voice that repeats 'moulin rouge!' and asks 'is that it?' at the end.)

sister #2 and the kids arrived on saturday, and i still haven't boarded up the windows. i went to get my phone from my room, nephews #1 and #2 clucking round me like little chickens, chickens that can say the word 'chocolate!' over and over again.

brother #4: (tries to sing) oh there's no place like home for the holidays...
me: liar.
brother #4: oh, so cynical!

i caught him checking his hair in the mirror five minutes later, singing 'you're so vain.'

bushra | permalink | |

people are humming, whistling and whining along to christmas music now. but i think they should all be singing along to the theme to balamory.

i'm going home before i do any more damage. i told S about yesterday's episode with the phone. and it would seem that instead of being the friend i should have been, i kicked my one of my best friends while she was down, man, way below sea level.

bushra | permalink | |

the office

martha plimpton-lookalike: that really naff song is number 1 for christmas.

(i think it clashes with her gold hair sparkle spray.)

i'm beginning to think bradford is some sort of pop capital. on each visit, michael jackson is in and eminem is out, or the other way around. no chanting this time around, it was too cold. instead i consulted cousins x, y, and z on their hopes for the christmas number 1.

cousin x: eh, get the thriller ringtone for your phone!
cousin y: eurgh, look at that guy from the darkness! he looks like he's got bad breath!
cousin z: ah, mad world! i like this song! x, turn the volume up, i can't hear it. all of yer! shut the fook up!

i'm very glad to be home. also. yesterday i learnt that you can know way too much about working a mobile phone. to the point where you become the messenger of very bad news. someone's gotta do it, i suppose, but i feel really really bad about it now.

bushra | permalink | |

her: have you got our store credit card yet? you get points, you know.
me: er, um, er, no, no i'm going to be late for work.

there's gotta be an easier way of saying 'no thanks.' the lowest point of the week has to be agreeing to this:

she: Are you having any time off? Do you fancy going on the wheel at all?
me:...

i didn't send an email back but i sent a very positive text agreeing to go. but there might just be a silver lining:

J: Apparently, the Birmingham Wheel did indeed have commentary relating to Paris playing in its compartments, the organisers having failed to change the recording.

i'm hoping they're still there. will i be taking any pictures? well, duh. i'm sorry. every time someone states the obvious at work, S and I mutter 'well duh' or 'doh' when they're out of earshot.

click a deer for holiday cheer. requires sound. i saw it last year but lost the link, i'm not going to repeat what i just had to do to get it this time around. but you'd better be grateful, ok?

bushra | permalink | |

when the rock star met the mullah. Salman Ahmad, guitarist with rock group Junoon, has one question for the clerics: "Where in Islam does it say that music is forbidden?"

wait till i tell the sisters that all this time they've been fans of a rock band.

bushra | permalink | |

mad world - gary jules

don't get me wrong, i'm a fan of it, brother #1 bought donnie darko on dvd, and i bought the soundtrack, but as a christmas single? i'm with spizzazz on this one:

"ha ha, scott mills thinks this should be christmas number one! i know because a weird cab driver told me when i was coming home from town. i didn't get to the end of donnie darko, so i never heard this song in the movie. it's funny that someone could think this depressing number could warm the festive cockles of our nation's kids. but when this song was performed on cd:uk, all the ten years olds were smiling and singing along; "the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had". ha ha ha. "

bushra | permalink | |

when you get cards as cool as this one, you're sure glad you bought some smart ones to give to the 'peeps' at work. that picture is only a snapshot, i couldn't find a more detailed one online. so i'll try and take a picture of it later or something. also got one covered in tiny glitter, caption 'whoopee! it's christmas!' wait till niece #1 sees it.

bushra | permalink | |

exactly 2 minutes and 18 seconds into 'the grass is green,' or track 7 of folklore, that is when you hear the best part of the track. the fact that it is at this point nelly furtado stops singing for a bit has absolutely nothing to do with it.

'i really can't concentrate today.' i've emailed this sentence twice, and said it out loud at least four times.

bushra | permalink | |

Balsall Heath and Highgate Past and Present: hey, there's a picture of me in this book. well you can't actually see it online, but i'm in there, and even if you did get it you'd have a really difficult job trying to spot me.

in colour, some very nice pictures of birmingham. no, really. you don't believe me, do you?

bushra | permalink | |

S and i were talking christmas cards at lunchtime yesterday. i didn't give any last year, well, i kept a box in my desk and if anyone gave me a card, i'd write them one back. this year, i've decided i'm going to do the whole christmas cards thing. only later did i see this in the horoscope that hotmail insists on sending me every week (what do you mean, it's a subscription?): 'You will probably want to make that extra effort to be sure that all your friends and family receive their cards, presents, and your good wishes on time.' whoa. anyway the issue for S was, he was going to use christmas cards he had left over from last year. cards are being rated on whether they're actually made of card. 'mine aren't even card,' wailed S 'they're those papery ones.' me: 'are they the ones that you'd sent to your mates at school? do they have those really long poems inside in some curly lettering? do they have pictures of candles on the front, with a bit of holly?' answer yes every time, so S is feeling very small.

niece #1 picked mine. so if you don't like them, she'll kick you with her cool new trainers. and yes, i did buy some really smart christmas cards after work yesterday. for work people. (loser.)

bushra | permalink | |

you didn't think i'd let this weekend past without a snapshot of the regular family conversation, did you? anyway. the usual. at the kitchen table with the pc, sister #5 (she's 15) sits opposite eating. finally she gets up, about to leave the kitchen when she stops.

sister #5: (holding her stomach.) ah, that was nice. thank god, my baby's sleeping now.

i look at her.

me: you do my f*cking head in.
sister #5: what? what?! (lifts the pink gadget hanging round her neck.) i meant my tamagotchi!

bushra | permalink | |

there's more (ok, four) additions to the moblog.

bushra | permalink | |

i wasn't going to buy any more CDs for the rest of this year (how scary was that, sophie ellis pregnant, the strokes and nelly furtado firing off second albums around the same time as each other). but then i saw an advert for buffy the vampire slayer: radio sunnydale.

bushra | permalink | |

[via auspicious fish]

bushra | permalink | |

arpeggio:

What I was thinking on the bus on the way to work.

Shake it, shake it
Shake it, shake it
Shake it, shake it like a Polaroid picture.'

innit.

bushra | permalink | |

look what brian wore to work yesterday. this has to win some sort of prize, i think. also. it's been a whole year since i first emailed brian, about a man who always falls asleep on the bus. yes, it is a very small world i live in.

bushra | permalink | |

bah, humbug, etc.

wednesday. the middle of the week. the end of the week is near. very good. even better, J will crawl out of his bomb shelter and start emailing:

There is a CD playing, called Christmas Number Ones, and there is no indication of how long it will continue to play for. Is it to go on indefinitely, until the New Year? In which case, do I get extra pay for being subjected to this inane seasonal
drivel? Something awful comes on. "Chris Rea," says C. "Ooh, I like this one," says M. Blood starts to stream from my eyes. Do you ever have the feeling, young Bushra, that you are being punished for something you did in a previous incarnation?

later:

J: Last Christmas. I gave you my heart. But the very next day. you gave it away.
me: You really are in hell, aren't you?

bushra | permalink | |

10:08am. this day is going way too slow. also. monster trucks transform mining. i want one of those.

bushra | permalink | |

blah

i've got that 'like i've been drinking washing up liquid' feeling in my throat again.

bushra | permalink | |

shake it like a polaroid picture

saturday. the only high point of this event was hearing 'Hey Ya' really really loud. even having to watch brian dowling and t-t-t-tara dancing along wasn't going to spoil it. oh, and i bought two more bags. what the hell is it with bags?

yesterday was a film day. i met up with D (as in D from jury service), and we went to watch a film. honest, i swear, the only film that would let me get home in time to greet the parents back from yet another trip up north was (cough) love actually. i know, i know. only after reading one of those free cinema magazines did i find that lost in translation isn't going to be around until next year. i really wanna watch that. anyway, whatever you've heard about it, good or (more often) bad, well, it's true.

interesting, D must have been the first person ever, who wasn't shocked to find that i hadn't seen titanic.

bushra | permalink | |

flipflopflyin: the advent calendar. 'Each day you can roll over the relevant day and see something special.
Because I'm a technical moron, I have to manually change the code every day, so when you get to see each day's picture all depends on what time I get out of bed in the morning. So, I'll apologise to anyone in Australia, Japan, or anywhere else that has a high number of +GMT hours, cos you'll probably get to see the new one in the evening.'

just so you know.

bushra | permalink | |

sister #4. meet fudge it.

me: i knew it was you!
sister #4: i think it's funny, you're not going to change the address now that you know i know about it, are you?
me: you mean you don't mind how i kind of make fun of you on it?
sister #4: no way, i think it's funny!

also. sister #1 finally realised that dragging me out to the shops when i have a serious headache is not advisable. take the episode where i was convinced i'd lost my walkman (i know!) but sister #2 found it at the bottom of my bag.

me: i couldn't remember putting it away, i really was off my head at the time.
sister #1: yes. i noticed that.

8:01am, and there is a man singing loud and off key at the vending machine. this is some headache.

bushra | permalink | |

so i click on a link from the saima says' three word blog , Anil's Timberlake Review, which was good, then browse a bit more and find this post: Halalapalooza:

We live across the street from a very, very good roasted chicken place. It's middle-eastern, with an audience that appears to consist primarily of the Manhattan cab drivers who aren't of south Asian descent. (Yes, all three of them.) And, as far as I can tell, they only allow men as customers.

everytime i go past a popular halal fast food place a few metres away from job #1, on very rare occasions i'll see an asian woman getting served in there. but i've got to add, i really don't like going to zaffs/lahores/whatever in sparkbrook/sparkhill/whatever. i don't know why, but being the only girl standing in a muslim fast food shop really makes for awkward viewing. if you're not given the cold silence and made to wait for what seems likes hours for your order, you've got some gawky looking kid thinking it's love over the halal fried chicken. ugh. brother #1 doesn't seem to get it, but brother #2, who mainly believes sisters/daughters/whatever shouldn't be seen or heard, wouldn't think of letting me anywhere near them in the first place. and on this occasion i'm happy with that.

bushra | permalink | |

oo-er

so. you know when you're about to stand on a chair even though you get the feeling that it's a wobbly chair, and then when you stand on it you realise the chair isn't wobbly after all, and it's all in your head? that.

(why was i standing on the chair? don't ask, it wasn't pretty. today was the crappest monday ever. now i fully understand why people must really hate mondays. yes yes. i hated them too to begin with, but now i hate mondays more than ever. especially when painkillers don't work.)

bushra | permalink | |