fudge it

email on 29/01/03 at 15:15
Suddenly jump up and shout or something!
so my many near-death experiences are not all my fault then.

bushra | permalink | |

say hi to my new phone. the search for a camera attachment is on...

bushra | permalink | |

about every six months we rediscover computer games at home. last year we found the sega mega drive my sister had hidden before she got married, (4 years ago) it was driving her crazy. when we play, we don't just play for a little while, we set up for around a fortnight, playing 24 hours a day. that's right. no TV at all. brother no 5 found a nintendo 64 for 15 quid at cash converters, so now he's going to teach me how to play ridge racer 64. maybe i'll pass my hazard perception test after a week on it, i mean, you never know when a helicopter is going to fly right at you, do you?

bushra | permalink | |

several blogs that mention the donnie darko soundtrack. is it a blog thing?
gloomsday.net
delfi
oh pants
flustered
tangerine moon
diamond geezer

my cd has the remix of mad world on it twice.

bushra | permalink | |

it was brother no 4's birthday today. he realised at 2.30pm he was 23 years old today. dad even phoned from pak but jig was fast asleep. he's working nights now. anyway. i told him he could come to the supermarket with me and choose his birthday present. he picked four: 'witch' facial wash, olay 'refreshing toner,' olay touch moisturiser and a pack of sainsbury's double sided (for exfoliation y'know) cotton pads. it was that or as many B&H's you can get for a tenner.

bushra | permalink | |

argh! it's messing up my pc again!
but who exactly is surfing the internet, unaware they are prone to attack when they visit (do you really want me to tell you what i found in the History folder?). time to investigate:

me: "what have you been looking up on the internet??? that's the second f*cking time that virus has messed up the pc!!! all the programs are f*cked up and you can't do a single thing! dammit!!

brother no 5: "uuuuuuuuum-i-dunno."
brother no 4: "nah, nah. wasn't me. gimme a couple of quid."
brother no 3: (with his height? are you kidding?!)
sister no 5: "jig-went-on-there-before-couldn't-do-a-single-thing-all-the-programs-were-messed-up-only-it-wasn't-bleeping-the-way-it-is-now."
brother no 2: oh, forget it.

tell you what though. i'm going to leave the history folder showing in the browser. i'll show 'em freemasonic.

bushra | permalink | |

my favourite post-it on my pc:

you have 5 days + 2.45 hours leave left - can you think about booking this soon?

least favourite post-it:

3rd Feb, 11:15am. my next visit to the dentist.

bushra | permalink | |

hidden among the tweenies mp3's (for my nieces, silly), was a weezer mp3. i sure didn't download it, so who did? hmm...it put niece no 3 to sleep anyway.

sister no 5 is walking around muttering to herself: 'an A star. me? me, an A star!'

the dentist was ok. sorta. i see a lot of appointments ahead though. once he checked my teeth he said 'well what is it that you want me to do?'. er, fix 'em?

bushra | permalink | |

apparently the speech and drama school next door are exercising their vocal chords. i can't hear a thing. and if i try hard enough, maybe i won't hear the dentist drill this afternoon.

bushra | permalink | |

bad day.

1) 6.30am: i convinced myself it was saturday. in fact i was absolutely sure it was saturday until niece no 1 started banging at my door. woke up at 7.42am. best sleep i've had in ages.
2) can't pick my feet up. so everytime i walk through the office next door, i keep tripping myself up. at one point i even managed to crash into some blinds. that's progress.
3) my foot got caught up in some stupid network cable again, making me swallow my chewing gum. when my niece asks for a wrigley's extra she asks me to 'get the chilli out first,' i.e. chew the gum until all that strong minty stuff has gone. was in the process of doing that with my chewy when the network cable came along. my throat is burning.
4) anadin extra will not make the pain in the side of my head go away.
5) oh, and i left my wallet in my fleece at work.

bushra | permalink | |

it's starting to hit me just how scared i am of the dentist (wednesday. 2.20pm). but then again, i can't believe i have a phobia of the whole salsa dancing thing as well.

bushra | permalink | |

brother no 5. he spent the week pisstaking my theory test failure and his driving test pass (the first person to pass first time in our family, like, ever!), and was busy all morning making fun of my toothache. now he wants a couple of quid for chicken and chips. as if.

bushra | permalink | |

eeeeeeeeek! my teeth were hurting like hell this morning. jig is making sure that the grief he gave the parents is no different to the bullshit he offers me day in day out. so anyway, thursday morning i woke up and the right side of my jaw was completely locked. grinding my teeth in my sleep. that's how much of a dipshit brother no 4 is proving to be. and today the pain was still there. there's nothing to it. i'm going to have to phone boots and register (don't get me started on my last dentist, my teeth still haven't recovered from the damage she did):

"when would be the best time for you to come to the dentist?"

"as soon as possible, please."

"are you in pain?"

"er....yes."

"that's an emergency appointment, that will cost £49 not including any treatments, x-rays and registration."

"okaaay. can i just make a normal appointment please?"

"have you registered with the practice?"

"er, no i haven't."

"registration will cost £49.50, including an examination, excluding blah blah blah."

it's back to the one on the corner then. she still has that guilt in her eyes for drilling one of my teeth to bits. loooong story.

bushra | permalink | |

why i like exploding dog.

bushra | permalink | |

my week in an email:

"can i take that rubber stamp whatsit and smash her face in with it, only my head hurts..."

bushra | permalink | |

when i spoke to dad on the phone yesterday, i told him about my migraine. he said he was going to send me some medicine "for my brain."

bushra | permalink | |

my o2 contract dies in feb. finally. when they asked why, i told them about the frantic bullshit they put me through when i lost my sim last year. it took a day and half to get the sim blocked, three days to order a replacement, three days to get a replacement, then about four days to get the sim activated. plus i lost all my numbers. "dissatisfied with the service i received" was an understatement. i remember sending the same email about 20 times on hotmail when i was re-ordering my sim, 20 times to get the sim activated. plus letters, phone calls. on the phone the call centre person asks me if i want a pay as you go sim for o2. i think what the hell and say ok. so they send me a sim, with a ringtone voucher. 8 downloads. i think they're glad to see the back of me. the thing is, i'm not a big fan of them there ringtones. so annoying. anybody want a ringtone?

bushra | permalink | |

it is now 15.49. apart from jumping awake nearly every two hours last night (so that's three times in total) convinced i had overslept, i woke up at 6.30 (unhealthy, yes i know). so anyway that's about over eight and a half hours i've been awake. and it's taken me eight and a half hours to figure that the reason my head is absolutely killing me is because i hit it on some board while trying to fix the vcr. why fix the vcr? because sister no 4 and i managed to snap the tv remote in half. oh yes, everyone has a fight over the remote, but have you ever seen the damn thing snap in two? in a very stupid phase obviously, i thought that by holding the two broken bits of circuit board together it might just work. so here's a laugh. how much do you think a replacement remote for this is gonna cost me?

bushra | permalink | |

ONE LOVE
la la la la la
ONE LOVE
la la la la la
ONE LOVE
la la la la la etc.
i've been telling J to get a blog for ages. maybe i'll just make a page with all his emails on it.

bushra | permalink | |

imagine all mondays were like this:

".....C's not in today, so er, you don't have to worry about getting anything done, so to speak."

bushra | permalink | |

i think i'm paranoid.
ok. headcount.
brother no 1. he says respect mah authoritah!
brother no 2. not a complete bitch. but getting there.
brother no 3. i cut his head open with a car stereo once.
brother no 4. jig. he's gone AWOL again.
brother no 5: get your arse down that jobcentre now!
sister no 1. ignorant bliss all the way in bradford.
sister no 2. ignorant bliss but with 3 kids. ha.
sister no 3. that'll be me then. see niece no 3.
sister no 4. revision hell.
sister no 5. say another word and i'll punch your f*ckin lights out.
niece no 1. making the life of sister-in-law no 1 a living hell.
niece no 2. belongs to sister no 2.
niece no 3. has spent 90% of the day sleeping on my shoulder. complete with snot, sweat and other baby fluid stuff. but she can say my name!
nephews 1 & 2. belong to sister no 2.

all present and accounted for, then.

bushra | permalink | |

me and sister no 5 catch up. i ask her what she wants for her 15th.

'um,can you get me a nice key ring that says b1tch?'
'wha-a-at?'
'or a nice necklace that says bitch, even!'

i hate theory tests. this is a sign. one day i will die by road accident. only yesterday i didn't hear or see the giant marks and spencer delivery van that was about to drive into me. uh oh, i'm in trouble.

oh, f*ck. my computer's sick.

bushra | permalink | |

i haven't really done any work in this office for three weeks now. oh all right, make that at least five. but anyway, all that work looming in my in-tray? done it. in, like, a day. and now i have nothing to do again.

dude, my parents phoned me on my mobile! at work! they were "on their way home from 'pindi." and we weren't catching up, saying hi how are you or anything, it was just to discuss my dad's direct debits! excellent!

bushra | permalink | |

typing dyslexia (?), words i always have trouble with:

vacacny
borther
co-odrinator
becuase

i'm sure there was a lot more than that.

it's getting nasty on my email rounds:
no way am i doing that! f*ck f*ck f*ck. someone needs a new name. the "Delegator." guess who?

bushra | permalink | |

i told myself. do some work. you don't need to post everything that happens. but if i hear the windows logon sound (Win 2000, with the tinkly piano) one more time, i will scream. or put a really offensive email alert on.

bushra | permalink | |

comments are on. please don't shoot.

did you know the definition of the word pixellated goes like this: "led astray, as if by pixies." my boss just taught me that. shower us with your wisdom, oh master.

bushra | permalink | |

C and K are making post holiday conversation (K only got back today): "...so, any new year resolutions?"

"not to spend any money." what followed was a lot of laughing unnatural for a Monday morning. I just showed them the new coat i bought. half price, innit.

bushra | permalink | |

Does this mean you've already been to see THE TWO TOWERS? (Or should it be renamed as THE TWIN TOWERS? Some would have to believe that the film is a template for the coming US-Iraq conflict: Good V Evil - US V Iraq - Sauron = Saddam, and crap like that.)

What'd you think of TTT? I must confess, I didn't think much of it myself - at the time, that is. But thinking back on it since, I'm not so sure it was as bad as I thought. I've had enough of a re-think that I'm planning on going back for a second viewing in a week or two.

Dare I tell him about the work-organised trip to see "this fantastic film"? Also, must remember to try and watch part 1 courtesy of brother no. 1's dvd player.

bushra | permalink | |

bye bye, boom selection. and no, i wasn't dim enough to buy a CD off 'em.

ok, that whole 'east is east' thing i mentioned before. number 1: was at a conference last year for black and asian workers in my department. and the director came and gave this er, speech or something. big white guy. what's the first thing he says? 'oh yeah, i used to have black friends when i was at college.' yeah, and your point is? me, all i get from new people i meet is, have you seen 'east is east'? and it must have been very funny because they start laughing a bit as soon as they remember it. and even if i give a really deadpan 'no' they start going on about the hilarious scene where the kid in the anorak says he's too young to get married or whatever. so you watched 'east is east.' doesn't mean you know me and every pakistani in the street, man.

i worked in brrradistaaaan for 7 months about a year and a half ago. 99.9% of family on my mother's side live there (dad was an only child). stayed with my aunt whose house was sort of at the top of this hill. and the rest of them occupy about 6 houses on two streets. i used to call it the village. like back in pakistan. it's a little village, where absolutely everyone will know who you are, and will make some observation or other about you, and before you know it, just by saying thanks to the kid at the till at the supermarket, you're down as a gal who needs a bit of a slap and should wear a tent hijab for the rest of her life. that's stoning, bradistan style.

bushra | permalink | |

accessing the internet at some net cafe for the first and last time ever. i swear the ground is shaking. what am i doing here? why, avoiding the chaos that always happens before my sister and her three kids leave for bradistan of course. i should add, i have never seen 'east is east.' so there.

bushra | permalink | |

just met sort-of cousin for my break. she's cool. she smokes dope all day long and sells insurance. she was 19 in november. we had a really long discussion about how she likes to take acid or something occasionally. apparently, she is in control of the situation. last year she tripped, fell and smashed her face pretty ugly, then blamed it on the dodgy footpaths in lancashire. she's had to sell her car, she was in an accident and she isn't licensed. on christmas eve she drove to brighton and partied with some asylum seekers at 6am on the beach. anyway, she wants to go on holiday, man.

bushra | permalink | |

back to work. bah. C didn't mind so much that i left a CD running in her PC over christmas. that's cool.

pretty quiet in here today. C has gone off somewhere, i only caught the 'alright' end of her sentence due to the walkman. but i said okay anyway. ugh, so f*ckin boring, where is everybody?

bushra | permalink | |